Berlin in Frankfurt

We moved out of our apartment two months ago today and we have been living here for almost fifty days. I do realize that’s really not a long time, but it does feel like a blink of an eye. Here are some things I have been mulling over on long walks over the last few weeks and I wonder if anyone can identify with anything here?

• I had no idea how run-down I was. Many people don’t enjoy the D.C. pace of life, vibe, etc. but having lived there my whole life, I have always loved the bustle, energy, things to do, ease of travel….But with that comes the constant BUSY. Always something to do, the grind of the commute, long work hours, social-church-gym-life-family commitments. I am not saying those things don’t exist here, but starting fresh and building a schedule from the ground up has been a huge blessing and a welcome challenge so far and has made me realize that I was just doing way too much.
• Right now I’m teleworking during the afternoons which may not last forever but for now, it adds a really nice structure to my day and has provided welcome continuity.
  • Six months ago, truthfully I was terrified and maybe even a little angry about the idea of not working full-time. As I sifted through those feelings, sought counsel, and prayed, I haven’t reached any earth-shattering conclusions, but I am in a place where I can mentally be ok with a part-time schedule for now and have softened towards the idea of volunteer work at some point or a season of less responsibility.
  • Where did these aversions come from? I think a piece of it – and this is not unique for many people – I started working part-time at 15 and was working full-time by 21. I have always prided myself on financial independence and my contributions to the workplace. These are all very good things to take pride in but I struggle to separate the way I make an income from “Who is Claire? What does she like to do, really?”
  • This is a season of my life where I am blessed with the choice to work full-time, part-time, or not at all. The rarity of this is not lost on me. What I don’t want to do is look back on this time sometime after kids are grown and regret forcing myself to do something someone else told me was a good idea.
  • So what do I want to do? For now, I am very content with my part-time arrangement. After that, I think I have ruled out a desire to take a full-time job. There are a number of neat volunteer opportunities here including a robust refugee outreach program which may need a new co-leader soon. I have also ruled out (for now) a desire to go back to school. Career wise, there isn’t a huge benefit and beyond that, it doesn’t spark any kind of desire in me at this time.

On another note, our household shipment will be delivered this week and I sift through everything, I can’t wait to share how our place is coming together. It will be fun to see familiar pieces – like our comfortable grey couch, my favorite pair of black boots, the delicate silver-rimmed coupe cocktail glasses – mixed with some new things. I really mourned leaving our Falls Church apartment because I was so pleased with how homey it looked but I have turned a new leaf and can’t wait to make this space look like home and do what we love to do most- entertain!

I’d love to have a fall soup and cocktail party to get things going and maybe during the winter doldrums, a murder mystery party. I really am going to keep up with posting at least every now and then if for nothing more than a memory book to look back on later.

❤